The biggest regret of my life

Loosing my Mother due to Lack of Knowledge

Yes you read it correctly, I lost my mother due to cancer and partially I blame myself for not saving her life due to lack of knowledge of proper food nutrition. Here is my story –

My mother was extremely talented in music, singing, dancing and painting, in other words music and singing was her passion. Being a house wife and mother of two kids in a joint family, she still used to take out some time for her singing. She did some top notch certification course (don’t remember the actual name) as well in music in her early days and wanted to do something in this filed, but as you know almost 35–40 years back the norms were not so smooth for her or were not in her favor where she could live her life as she wanted or could do something which she wanted against all the odds.

But cutting story short, my mother ended up as house wife where she devoted herself completely to her family and kept living her music passion by singing religious songs often in small to mid size gathering and sometime in various public gathering very much like a professional (but without charging a single penny). Well my father supported her talent to grow and accompanied her in those social gatherings or events. But my mother always pursued this more like a hobby (passion) rather than career later on.

Everything was good in her life except her health. Ever since my childhood I found her surrounded by some or other medical problem and visiting doctor’s place quite often. Sometime it used to be small medical problems but sometime it was large enough to make her admit in the hospital. She was also suffering from claustrophobia, an anxiety disorder and some sort of depression too for which she was on continuous medication. In food she always used to prefer light food which should not make her stomach upset or create gastro problem at the end of the day. Since as kids we (I and my younger sister) were least aware of these medical things in the beginning and later on became busy in studies (& career development).

Also due to lack of knowledge in food nutrition space, I myself was not aware whether she was having proper regular nutrition rich diet or not. We can also imagine the treatment and advice from doctors in small town of Indian cities about food nutrition. I hardly remember a doctor who advised on diet or nutrition rich food ever instead of medicine. This is the biggest problem in India’s medical system that doctors do not care about food, diet, nutritions in any patient’s daily life routine, but the truth is that almost all medical problems (in early stage) can be well treated, suppressed or even fixed with proper diet and with well balanced nutritions in the food.

Eventually things became worst and my mother was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a type of blood cancer at almost later stage of the disease. I remember her last days crystal clear when she was going through with chemotherapy, high doses of different medicines and severe pain caused by those medication process. It was utter most painful time for all of us and I can’t imagine how much pain she was going through each day. She fought with the monster for 1.5 years and never left hope till her last breathe.

Now after almost 4 years of her passing by and in my regular life routine, I somehow stumbled upon of having keen interest in body building. I started going gym regularly and started gaining knowledge about proper diet and nutritions by my own. Though in the past I had always been associated with some sort of outdoor sports like badminton, cycling, swimming etc. but never focused on body building and regular gym. After hitting gym, reading about diet, food nutrition and following diet plan, I realized how much is the importance of a proper diet in anyone’s life. What a miracle can be done by food if taken in right manner, as good diet can help building us desired shape of body similarly a proper nutrition rich diet can cure and prevent us from almost any kind of disease or better say prolong it for very later stage.

I wish I could have gained the knowledge of macro nutrition (carbohydrates, protein, fat) and micro nutrition (vitamins & minerals) and its effect of human body early. I wish I could have given proper food to my mother when she was lacking potassium, magnesium or zinc in her body and was given injections for them. I wish I could save her having joint pains or back pain by giving good balanced diet and by adding rich nutrients in her daily diet. I wish I could make her diet plans from morning till night and could add all those nutrients which were lacking in her body.

I also wish I could have introduced her to meditation as well when she was suffering from depression or claustrophobia. Yes I started doing meditation too since last 1–2 years to keep my mind calm and active in my work. In this age of social distraction, mediation is very important to keep our mind balanced with our body so that we can utilize our brain at its best potential. There is direct connection of healthy body and mind, as we do physical activity to keep our body fit similarly we should do mediation to keep our mind fit.

And don’t underestimate the power of nutrition rich diet. There is a famous quote by someone that body builds in kitchen and not in gym, this is 100% true and tested by myself on my own. I lost 8 kgs in 6 months with 6% body fat reduction and 2% muscle mass addition by following a good diet (keeping macro and micro nutrients balanced) and some regular exercise, now my next goal is to further reduce body fat and grow muscle mass.

But coming back to point, I regret that even being an educated person (masters in computer science), I could not save my mother from diseases and could not give a healthy life to her because I was uneducated (illiterate) in food nutritions, good diet, healthy body – mind & how to live disease free, healthy lifestyle knowledge.

As any other child I was very close to my mother. She was the most precious part of my life. Loosing my mother is the biggest regret of my life and also the biggest motivation too now to disperse the knowledge of proper nutrition rich diet to others so that they could save themselves or their loved ones from big diseases which don’t give a second chance sometime.

Ending my story here, this is the first time I am writing about my mother’s disease and her loss so openly on internet (my eyes are wet right now) and I hope people can understand the need & importance of good healthy food in their lifestyle and stop eating junk food (stop eating sugar right way, our body doesn’t need additional sugar specially that white sugar, its a slow poison).

This post was picked by a medium publication and have generated great responses from wise men.

I and my mother around 10 years back

I and my mother around 10 years back